Questions without answers Jenny Hoang ----There
is so much Humility in Peace of Mind. Should Humility
come first or is it the other way around? Or is it
Humility a natural side-effect of a mind at peace? ----Pretending
not to see the truth, not expressing or accepting it,
seem to be such a waste. It ends up hurting everyone,
ourselves first and all the ones involved. The issue is:
We all want to be kind and loving to others and we wouldn’t
want to hurt their feelings. Should we have to have
enough love in us so that we wouldn’t want to hurt
ourselves to begin with? ----My
Mom is the image of myself 20 years from now if I am
still alive then. There are a lot of us in her. Loving
ourselves in others is not easy. It’s like walking
in somebody’s shoes. We can’t. It is hard
enough to buy shoes that fit us ----Am
I free to choose? I can’t choose to fly, can I? It
is hard to choose to be happy with others, yet I can
choose to be happy with myself. So is there free choice?
Is there free choice within the limits of one’s own
thoughts, speeches and actions? How can one have freedom
within something very limited like one’s brain?
Talking about controlling the outside world ? ----Mother’s Day. I
wanted to give my Mom something valuable but couldn’t
really think of anything “valuable enough” that
she would care for. On the other hand, I know exactly
what she and I could care for; I know exactly what every
one of us would care for. ----To
become enlightened is also a mean. You have to stay in
its Light to face defilements so that they can no longer
disturb you; You have to stay in its Light to “see”
how much people suffer from these disturbances so that
you can “understand” them instead of blaming
them. May be to see and to understand are also means. May
be the ultimate goal of a life time is to die
understanding. ----There is no form of God.
There are only Qualities that have been once in us. The
Qualities of God are what we call God. To me there are
Qualities and non-Qualities also, all in one package.
Asked who I wouldn’t like to hang out with, I said:
“The ones who complain about everything and the one
who are sure about everything. No1 depresses me and No2
brings out violence in me. When asked whom I would be the
most comfortable with, I couldn’t really give an
answer, I am busy trying to feel comfortable with
myself.. How should we deal with No1 and No2 ? Avoid
them, forgive them, push them aside? Or change them? ----Are the tendency to
control and the need to be approved of.. the ultimate
request for fulfillment of the ego self? Can the ego be
really fulfilled since its state of separation is a false
premise in the first place? ----I remember a question
someone asked at a retreat: “Is there artificial
happiness?” The teacher said: “When you are
hungry, go look for food, don’t eat the menu!” ----Ephemeral excitement
versus long lasting peace of mind? What is more real? To
hit the Jack Pot or to find out that one is capable of
great love, great forgiveness and great understanding?
They are both real to me!! ----Gary Snyder wrote on
Southwest American Indian Hunters: “They learn to be
motionless and to put their mind in an open state so that
their consciousness won’t spook creatures that they
know will soon be approaching.” Wow! This sounds
like a wonderful state of deep meditation. Yet, if they
are in such a total state of mind and stillness, would
they lose the desire to kill ? ----Would boredom start the
search, continue the search and end the search? Boredom
could be a very good space to be, provided that one is in
control of self. D. once said there might be pleasure in
not having control of self sometimes. But I think that
kind of pleasure would and could soon turn out to be a
real pain also. True or false? ----Love is such a beautiful
feeling. Why on earth does it have to be mixed with
misery? Thoughts and feelings are close. When pulled and
pushed by karmic bonds, they induce misery. Is loving
someone or something also karmic? When love is subject to
the pull and push of karma is there true love? Am I
questioning the love I have for my Mom and for my
children? When I see my Mother’s face without any
consideration, things become more simple. I just love her
and want her to feel loved. Does she?. ----Hurting feelings go
around and come around. J.hurt me because she felt hurt.
I felt hurt and I am ready to hurt her back or I am going
to hurt some one. Yet, the issue is: Do I want to hurt
myself in the process? The circle has to stop somewhere.
I have to take my chance. It’s the image that hurts.
The moments pass, could we leave them in the river of…time?
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